Monday, June 13, 2011

The Long Journey (and LONG post!)

Gwen asked, "What diet are you following?" The short answer is nothing in particular.

The side story is …

I did have success with Weight Watchers about 7-8 years ago and I contemplated it again but, truthfully, I just can't afford the fees right now and I was never impressed with our local meetings anyway. Those two things alone would make it a no-go. But I also remember being CONSUMED by the whole thing. Counting calories/fat/fiber, counting points, counting down until my next fix … er … meal, counting pounds lost and re-gained, counting my checkbook. Don't get me wrong — I think WW is basically a good system for many people and I did lose 60 lbs with it (all found again when I went off the plan), but I've come to the conclusion that it's just not for me. I need to get away from always thinking about food in one way or another. WW stresses that it's not really a diet but a lifestyle change. I disagree. In my mind, it's a diet. A lifestyle change to me is one that you don't have to think about too much after a certain point and it just becomes What You Do. I don't want to count points or calories for the rest of my life.

But that's getting ahead of myself. Let's backtrack.

The long answer is (pull up a chair)

I didn't actually set out to lose weight. With all the other upheavals going on in my life, I was relying on my old standby of food for comfort. I was finding lots of love in those cookies and Kit Kat bars. ;-)

But then, I had major dental work (which is still ongoing and will be for a while), which forced a dietary change. I literally could NOT eat the same foods I used to.

So, full disclosure time (pull an ottoman up next to that chair and put your feet up)

About 4 years ago, I was having some dental pain and went to a dentist who turned out to be horrible in a terribly insensitive sort of way. He told me point-blank that I'd have to have ALL of my teeth extracted and then started pushing implants to the tune of close to $50,000. (Yeah, like I could afford that. I could barely afford the $300 for the pleasure of that examination and bad news.) The bad teeth news wasn't new, even though I have *always* taken good care of my teeth and visited dentists regularly. I had been told previously that I needed periodontal work, but I had NO IDEA it had progressed to this point. I wasn't even 45 and the thought of an "old lady's" gummy mouth and dentures really did me in. Visions of Apalachia and Skid Row filled my imagination. I was a complete wreck.

And I was very embarrassed. So I put my head in the sand and ignored it. But then one tooth visible in the upper front decided to enjoy some gravity action and eventually was hanging down a good deal more than my other teeth. Man, I didn't want to go anywhere or see anyone, and pretty much didn't. (Any photos of me in my control during the last 5 or so years have had this tooth Photoshopped back to normal. Any others, I simply didn't smile with an open mouth.) I know it sounds superficial and what-not, but for my whole life I had always been told I have a pretty smile and it was a part of my identity. And then it wasn't and it was ugly and weird. I was very self-conscious. I never smiled full-mouth in public anymore.

Enter Dr. Amir. I really just lucked into him. I saw an ad, knew I had to do *something* for the job-search and my overall well-being, and made an appointment to test the waters. He's been wonderful (and the previously-mentioned good looks and London accent don't hurt either!). I literally cried out my heart to him, blubbering about suddenly having no job, a pending divorce, being an overall emotional wreck, etc., etc. He told me that I did NOT have to lose all my teeth, that there were really only (yeah, "only") some that were too far gone to save, and all of them except that one dangly tooth were in the back. He was so kind and supportive, and assured me he would work with me on pricing, payments and treatment plan to fit my budget and schedule. And his specialty, I later found out, is implants but yet he wasn't pushing those on me at all. He listened to me and came up with a plan that would work for me right now.

Dr. Amir has been true to his word and now I'm OK. In fact, I'm feeling so much better about all of this that I'm even willing to put it out to the world for all eternity. I've always been a spill-your-guts kinda girl, except this "secret" had been so embarrassing and demoralizing. I can't tell you how glad I am that it's behind me and I can let it go.

So, back to the "diet" …

I had just had the upper extractions done and was given the final partial denture thing to fill in the holes (it looks a lot like a retainer and stays in with clasps and not denture adhesives) 1-1/2 days before I left for my sister's graduation party in Virginia. And my mouth HURT! Dr. Amir told me that it would hurt for a while and recommended soft foods, but *good* foods like fruits and veggies — he's a health nut but more on that later. He was going away that weekend too, and actually called me on his cell during his trip to make sure I was OK for mine. See, I told you he was great!

Anyway, after the first day of feeling too yucky in general to even want to eat anything, it became quite a learning experience to see what I actually physically could and could not eat. Especially on a 14-hour road trip where driving through fast food joints was the plan. I quickly learned that McDonald's french fries were excruciating. I couldn't believe it! (And haven't had one since!) In fact, pretty much *anything* at McD's was out, except those delicious frozen drinks they sell. So for the ride up, I lived on Frappes and frozen strawberry lemonades and watched Alex eat the solid stuff. Yes, those drinks are high-calorie, but when they are your ONLY calories, it's not so bad. As the trip progressed, I also tried some of their yogurt with fruit and that was OK too, except for the apple chunks. Wendy's baked potatoes were OK too.

During various hotel stays, restaurant outings, my sister's party, etc., I learned that pretty much any bread/grain anything was out. I just couldn't chew breads or pasta, which really surprised me because I thought they would be "soft." Eggs and grilled fish were in. (Thank heaven for my mom's deviled eggs at the party!) Other meats were out. Rice, too weird. Ripe fruits and cooked veggies were in. Lettuce, and thus any salads, out. Any of my usual "comforts" such as cakes, cookies, etc. just didn't feel the same in my mouth so they didn't comfort - out. Candy - I still haven't had the nerve to try anything sticky, so out. Hard candy, very weird to suck on but I've had a few. Beer, in. Oops. ;-) But besides many of my usual foods being too painful or weird-feeling to eat, I also had to eat whatever I could eat VERY SLOWLY, and with very small bites. I still do. Now it takes me a LOT longer to eat a LOT less. This is a Good Thing, even if Alex does tease me about how slow I am. ;-)

Once we were back from the road trip, my weekly trips to the dentist for check-ups and adjustments started. As I mentioned earlier, Dr. Amir is a health nut. In a good way, though. He's not preachy, just casually educational and supportive. He wears these really funny shoes that have toes. They crack me up, but they look so comfortable. Alex tells me they are rock climbing shoes.

I could tell in the first week that I had already dropped a significant amount of weight from just plain not eating and I mentioned this to Dr. Amir as a positive "side effect" and we then continued talking about food options during my weekly visits. He said I should stay away from non-fat anything, since the fat is usually replaced with sugar and/or other unhealthy things to make the food still taste good, and that the fats in dairy and proteins are actually good for you. We discussed eggs being the "perfect food" both in consistency for my mouth and for their nutritional values. Eggs are very much erroneously maligned by Big Junk Food. You don't raise your cholesterol by eating cholesterol (eggs), you raise it by eating too many bad carbs/sugar which turn into the bad cholesterol in your body (it's more complicated than that, but this is long enough!). I actually really knew all this already, but we are so marketed about processed junk from Big Food that it's easy to buy into the non-fat hype and not think about it. I'm glad Dr. Amir reminded me because my brain started clicking …

… and after knowing what I was actually eating and still losing weight without being hungry, I decided to do a little bit of research on my own to learn more about why it was working for me. It turns out that I've fallen into a derivation of Atkins or a Ketogenic diet, which is to say cutting carbs and increasing the fat and protein, which causes the body to rely on fat instead of sugar for fuel, and it's this fat-burning process which is making me lose weight. I'm NOT eating like the "induction" phase of Atkins which is to cut out almost everything except fat/protein. It's much more balanced than that, and I'm not feeling deprived at all. I think I would feel deprived during an Atkins induction.

My typical food choices now are fresh eggs or Egg Beaters every day; yogurt with fruit (and fat); fresh fruit such as bananas, oranges, peaches, melons, and tomatoes; steamed fresh or frozen green veggies; soups; seafood such as tuna, oysters, crab, shrimp, fresh fish; and cheese. Meats have been limited to chicken and ground turkey and sometimes very small amounts of beef and pork, depending on consistency. Which is fine with me, because I've always actually preferred fish to meat. Pasta is still nearly impossible to chew so I don't eat much of it and instead will nuke a small potato or eat more veggies. Rice is still weird and will probably always be. Regular breads are out, but I have been making little egg or seafood "pizzas" with the whole-grain 100 calorie rounds because their consistency is a lot easier for me to chew. (My sister had them and I tried one there.) My sweet tooth is satisfied by oranges and peaches, or low-sugar puddings sometimes mixed with a sliced banana, or oatmeal with brown sugar or honey. Surprisingly, I haven't really craved chocolate at all. (I know, right?)

At this point, I'm not really craving anything and I'm not ever hungry. In fact, I'm spending hardly any time at all thinking about food and when I do eat, I'm eating less and still very slowly. It's like the inverse of what I was saying about Weight Watchers at the beginning of this long, long, LONG ::smile:: post. I feel I've made a positive lifestyle change and am not on a diet. It helps tremendously that there are definitely things I simply cannot eat without discomfort, but I'm truly not missing them. They were a (bad) habit, not a physical need. My physical needs are being met and the old habits are being replaced with healthier and more nutritious choices.

But it's also more than that. With my smile back, I'm also feeling better about myself in general and am not inclined to comfort myself with junk food. I'm not embarrassed to open my mouth anymore. I smile all the time. So, I've got a partial upper denture. So what!! It could be a lot worse. A. Lot. Worse. I never thought I'd be thankful for a denture, but I actually am. It's made me feel like me again on the outside, which is making the inside feel pretty good too. Now, I don't recommend getting some teeth yanked out to jumpstart weight loss, but for me it forced a change for the better. I'm choosing to see it as a positive.

I go back to see Dr. Amir tomorrow. I'm having a routine cleaning, a cavity filled, and we'll make plans for the bridge work that's to come for my lower teeth, so I can avoid a lower denture completely.

Life is pretty OK right now. And it will be great when I find a job and can really start my new life.

49 comments:

  1. Thanks for sharing this story! I'm sorry about your mouth pain, and the emotional distress associated with it, but it's wonderful to hear a story from someone who's made lemonade out of some real lemons!

    Kudos to both you AND Dr. Amir!

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  2. Good for you Debbie. I too had some horrible teeth issues...gaps that you could drive a truck through, missing teeth, baby teeth with no permanent tooth under them (pretty weird to be over 50 and still have baby teeth!) I was so self conscious! When I got divorced, I spent alot of money getting my smile fixed, and it was worth every penny in regaining my self confidence. I lost alot of weight in what I liked to call the divorce diet, because I was so stressed out I didn't eat. (side note...we have since remarried and those happy pounds have found their way back home!) Anyway...good for you! I know we will be hearing about your new job soon and the positive things happening in your life. Thanks for sharing!

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  3. Wow, how amazing! My mother has been on and off low-carb diets since the 90s, and they definitely work for her---even when she did weight-watchers, she ate a low-carb version and had similar feelings about the program as a whole to you. My husband has digestive issues with fat, so we tend to go low-fat everything for that reason, but it's definitely not always a particularly good route.

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  4. Thanks for sharing all this. I wish you knew how close you are to the current WW program. It's not a diet. It IS a lifestyle - you don't have to count points or calories for ever. You do get the hang of it and you learn - like you just did but without the company - the right foods to eat and such. I get the cost issue - costs me $40 a month but I'm okay with that as long as I can afford it and the meetings up here are great. I've made some wonderful friends through it. And what a fantastic dentist you have - he's right. Non-fat is not all it's hyped up to be. You definitely need healthy fats in your diet. Have you looked into Jillian Michaels' book "Master Your Metabolism"? You might like that - it now has an accompanying cookbook. Congrats on everything you are doing for yourself. I hit that "milestone" last year. It's just the start of the best time of life, I think!

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  5. Wow you are doing great too bad you have to have something so painful in your life. Your story reminds me of The Fly Lady's book called Body Clutter that I have been reading. Best of luck with every thing.

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  6. Teeth problems are the worst - I'm so glad that you found a nice dentist and now everything is taken care of. And good for you for finding a diet - I mean - lifestyle that works for you.

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  7. I'm so glad you found a great dentist. I thought I had one, until he bought a new building. All of a sudden he declared that I needed $20,000 dental work. Well, one of my teeth chipped and I went to my dentist. I told him flat out I didn't have that kind of money. His answer "just put aside $100 a week. You'll find a way." Yeah. Right. I never went back. Fast forward 15 years. New location, new dentist. New dentist says I need a crown on the chipped tooth (which was predicted by the first dentist to abscesse within weeks) and a few small fillings. Guess who got my $$$?

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  8. Your dentist sounds fabulous, those like that seem to be few and far between. :-( Sorry to hear about all your dental problems, but it definitely sounds like they have a silver lining. Here's hoping you reach your weight loss and career goals! :-)

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  9. Often it's the long journey that's the most rewarding. I'm so glad you've (re)found your smile!

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  10. I love your story. So great that you found an honest dentist who is looking out for your well-being. I've been on and off WWs for many years-mostly off! I'm seriously considering going to TOPS for support. They are not expensive like WWs. I also have an upper partial, and a 1-tooth partial on bottom. You get used to them and hardely know you're wearing them. Best of luck and keep up the good work! And post about your success. It's very encouraging.

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  11. how wonderful you found that dentist! you sound happy. isn't it amazing how when you cut out refined foods and sugars how much better everything tastes?

    those funny shoes are probably vibram five fingers and some of the guys i play soccer with swear by them for running (not soccer, though, we all stick with cleats for that!).

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  12. Congrats on the positive changes in your life, Debbie. You might check this out for ideas, lots of great info explained clearly (if you're a curious type) and connections to some good recipes:
    http://robbwolf.com/

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  13. All I can say is,,,, GOOD FOR YOU ..... :-)

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  14. This has turned into Debbie's excellent adventure in dentistry. It is a lemons into lemonade story, and you have been courageous.

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  15. Debbie, I'm happy you've found a Dentist you can trust. Teeth a real window into health.

    I really like Robb Wolf (linked to above) and also Mark Sisson at http://www.marksdailyapple.com (who calls it "primal") and the principles as outlined on archevore.com: http://www.archevore.com/get-started/

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  16. Bravo, and good for you! Thank you for your honest and candid sharing of what are the very personal and sensitive issues of self-image and confidence. You have a great positive outlook, and I wish you happiness and well being always :)

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  17. Good luck with the job hunt Debbie and thanks for sharing. I enjoyed reading your story and even more so inspired to stick with my own "lifestyle" changes.

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  18. Debbie, I am so glad you found a wonderful, caring dentist. They are out there. My daughter is one. I have seen some medical professionals, not just dentists, give you the "sales pitch." You wouldn't believe the one I got for my bladder surgery! Then there are those professionals who listen closely and really help and care. I am so glad you found Dr. Amir. He sounds wonderful. Oh, at graduation from Dental School, my DD was given the "Best Chairside Manner" award, as in Bedside Manner, sort of. She now has a fabulous practice and its the kindest sweetest person I know.

    Congrats on this weight loss. The bottom line is just getting healthier and it appears you have latched on to what works for you. You go, girl!

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  19. Wow I'm so happy for you that this turned out fantastic for you and you look great. Congratulations!

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  20. Pam from South Australia6:28 PM, June 13, 2011

    Debbie I think you will find there are a lot of us that have been through and can relate to your dental issues. I also remember the pain/embarassment/shame etc. Not sure why we feel that way really. How marvellous you have come out the other side with such a positive outlook, you are an inspiration to many. I believe the perfect job is just around the corner, the icing on your cake! Keep moving forward and good luck to you.

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  21. I'm glad your teeth feel better and that you're eating better, too!

    I have some dental issues, too, and plan to blog about care of my teeth soon.

    DH and I have been on a journey and found that we prefer real food, not processed food. We feel better but don't have our balance yet to lose all the weight we should.

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  22. Debbie, you have a knack for writing. Thank you for sharing your story. I am so, so glad you found Dr. Amir. Inconsiderate, DA doctors really make me angry - they give a bad name to the profession, and they make people feel bad, besides. But, despite your bad experience, you found the right doc at the right time, and on top of that, found the silver lining in the cloud. Choosing to be positive says a lot about you. I am glad you feel better in all the ways you do.

    Andrea
    satinbirddesigns.blogspot.com

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  23. This is a great step in your long journey! Surely you realize that there are MANY of us holding hands with you as you make your new way. Chin up, girl, and smile, smile, smile!

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  24. Dr Amir, we love you for giving us our Debbie back. :) A good dentist is a very rare find.

    FWIW the whole low-carb, Atkins type eating is how I lost and have kept off my weight too, combined with exercise. It's so simple and second nature I don't even think about it, even when I was losing weight.

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  25. So happy to hear your good news and progress on positive health changes! I've done the low carb thing with success in the past, and I've recently gotten turned on to the Paleo diet per robbwolf.com, as mentioned in other comments. Really interesting, helpful stuff!

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  26. Debbie, I've been rooting for you during this difficult time in your life. I'm so happy for you that you have changed your eating habits (the true secret to any diet's success) and that you have found a great dentist. When I read your post, I kept thinking of lemons/lemonade or rainclouds/rainbows. I'm glad that you are maintaining forward momentum--eventually you will get to where you need to be.!

    Rose in SV

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  27. I am on the same kind of "diet" so understand the journey - it's the journey of "you must eat well or there will be serious consequences!"

    Good on you for embracing the changes that needed to be made. It sounds like you've got a great fighting spirit and that kind of energy will help you through the next hump.

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  28. I had to have a tooth removed when I was in my mid-twenties. I was fitted with a partial, which I used for 25 years or more. I recently lost 10 lbs when I had to have a small pocket of infection removed from my tongue. Much like you, I did not want to eat anything for a couple of weeks. If I couldn't drink it, except for yogurt of course, it did not go in my mouth. I have to say, your diet is more sensible than mine. I have just had my second root canal, and prep for a crown. Major bucks as my new dental plan does not cover major work until October. Too painful and the tooth was starting to separate from the gum, so it had to be done. My first root canal was not bad, but this second one has been a lot more painful. I know you are tired of your teeth hurting. You are looking great.

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  29. What a wonderful story and thanks for sharing. Amazing what mouth pain will do to jump start weight loss. g

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  30. Debbie, thank you for sharing all this! But then you made lemonade out of the lemons you got! And, you studied, both yourself and the science. You go, girl! I don't know you personally, but I am so proud of you.

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  31. Mouth pain is truly one of the worst types of pain a human can feel. I've had so much dental work and I empathize completely.

    Since you are now into good dairy, I would like to suggest getting into raw milk. We buy our milk from a food co-op over in Orlando. The owner travels all over Florida, and he might have a pick up closer to Tampa. Or he might know someone who sells in Tampa.

    We discovered we can make yogurt from this milk in the crock pot. It is the most fabulous yogurt I have ever eaten! Mild, thick (when allowed to drain in a coffee filter), rich... heaven with a ripe mango and some agave syrup thrown in...also a touch of cinnamon and some vanilla.

    But the thing is, it is so mild that even if all you wanted to use was ripe fruit, it would be sweet enough to eat without adding honey or agave (or sugar) to it.

    As a test, we made yogurt in the crock pot with a half gallon of pasteurized/homogenized whole milk. The resulting yogurt was good, but far more tart than the raw milk yogurt. We're going to make frozen yogurt out of it with some fresh fruit. It's still much better for you than store bought, which doesn't have many, if any, live cultures.

    Write me privately if you would like more information.

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  32. Man, I'm starting to have major dental issues also and they terrify me. I'm so glad you got your smile back! I'm not even 40 and have had work done on almost all my teeth, and I had a bad root canal recently. I still can not chew on the right side of my mouth. The root canal area is still VERY painful and I'm afraid to go back and have them redo it.

    I've lately found that I need to avoid processed sugar and dairy -- I feel so much better when I do, but it is SO hard. Kudos to you for finding a diet you can live with.

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  33. Thank you for sharing not just the story about your teeth (Congratulations!) but also your diet. DH and I started the "Paleo" diet last November which cuts out all grains (white or dark = sugar = insulin spike), rice, corn, tofu, all legumes & night shades, bovine dairy, sugar and caffeine. I can not eat grains anymore, shortly after eating them I get the shakes, it's a horrible feeling.

    We have started drinking coffee again in moderation (no more than 3 cups/day), a bit of cheese, rice rarely, but that's it. We've found our digestive systems much more efficient after getting rid of all the indigestible foods in our lives. Meat, veggies, nuts and, as you mentioned, eggs, are what we eat.

    Cheers!

    Tabatha

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  34. Debbie I'm so glad you've been able to find a wonderful dentist to take care of your needs. Your story of your teeth sounds like my husbands. Unfortunetly he lost all his and ended up with dentures. Which he hates.

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  35. I found that entirely interesting. Seriously. I've changed my diet pretty significantly the last year and find your journey a great read and really inspiring.

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  36. Isn't it great to find a professional you can have confidence in. Glad you are feeling better and more positive on both the inside and outside.
    You don't need WW meetings, you have us cheering you on.

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  37. COngratulations, Debbie. That is a great story and I've very happy for you.

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  38. Really great story Debbie, thanks for sharing. I'm so glad you've found a good dentist, and that this is turning out to be a positive experience.

    I know what you mean about being afraid to eat for the pain it might cause, in my case it was gallstones! I had a severe attack one night after eating pizza (this wasn't the first time I'd had a GS attack, just never this bad), it lasted ALL night until 5 AM I went to the hospital. In short, the next 3 weeks waiting for the operation was horrible because I was literally afraid to eat anything, even skim milk made me feel the stones. The pounds just came off, it was amazing!!!

    Your new lifestyle sounds like it's working for you. I like how Rachelle said it, you're making lemonade out of some real lemons!

    Good luck with everything.

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  39. This is an inspiring post! Thanks for sharing with us. I feel the same way about point/calorie counting. It totally makes me obsess over food and I just end up cheating. Totally counter productive for me. My "lightbulb" moment was a stomach flu. :)

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  40. Rock on, girl. Sounds like we're both eating a lot alike lately. Mine is for different reasons than dental, but it sounds like you've found what works and what's healthy. Nice that your dentist is encouraging and supportive too.

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  41. Debbie;
    I am so happy for you. In addition to being a kick ass seamstress, you are also so inspiring & strong.
    God bless you and congrats on the new mouth, new/old/ clothes fitting better and I just have to say that you take the whole "when life gives you lemons" adage to a whole new level. You rock!
    Mermie

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  42. I'm SO GLAD you found a decent dentist. In one of my lives I was a dental assistant, and people would tell the most horrifying stories about other dentist! That first guy sounds like a total asshole.

    So, good on your weight loss, even if it was not quite intentional. I just started WW and I don't count anything. I mean, there are points, but i just enter my food and the computer. No thinking required! They had a big re-vamp and overhaul back in Dec 2010 (or thereabouts) and now it's all about health: more points for bad-for-you foods, less points (or no points) for healthy food. It's so easy, and I totally love the cheat sheets. I count my pennies too, and I figured by dieting on WW, I'd save my food money and use it to pay for WW. Perfect! Losing weight will also cut back on my health care costs, too!
    Good luck! (Kalyn's kitchen blog has some fab healthy recipes if you wanna check it out.)

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  43. Cool, Hey the teeth are sorted. Eating is healthier! Weight loss is a great side effect.
    I have a single implant to replace a front tooth damaged twice in 2 childhood accidents and then removed as it was rotten. I struggled with bridges for years, and the implant although horribly expensive has been great. I remember the early days after the implant when I could only eat yoghurt and mashed potato and lentil soup whilst it healed, although I am almost back to normal now I do need to avoid very hard food as my implant is very slender due to bone loss from infection and can't take too much abuse.

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  44. All I can say is God bless Dr Amir. You deserved this great turn around!

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  45. I love this post so much! I'm really happy that things are looking up and that you're feeling better. I also wanted to say how much I love the new hair - super cute and fun. The upbeat attitude is really coming through in the pics, too. You look good and just happy. I like it. :)

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  46. Wow. Thank-you for sharing this! It is inspiring and really makes a girl think :)

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Thank you for each and every comment. I appreciate them all, but I have to be honest and let you know that I'm usually bad about answering questions. I hope you understand that there just isn't enough time in the day to do everything I want to do.

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